it's 11:10, 10 min passed my bed time =P
so my head is totally not working
pass my reflective mood as well...just wanna say that looking back this yr...and my whole life.. God's finger touched every moment of my life w/o me knowing at most times =)
actually came this close to be the girl that i wanted to be all my life, and now i changed my plan rather God has his plan and He "dragged" me into it =P literally so i had to change my plan

fadded childhood dreams.... nah God will turn it into something better i'm sure =)
at any rate it's 11:12 i need to get to bed

i just realized that you are all that i have God... nothing in this world that appears to be mine.. friends, family, school, marks.. my ability to breathe, walk, talk, see.. they don't belong to me... they are only given to me by God for a while.. it's up to him to give and take away

on Christ the Solid Rock i stand, all other ground is sinking sand

Gal 1:10 =)

i am here to please you, God and no one else! =)

chem test on tue!! God help me... i know you have before.. help me this time.. i put my trust in you! =) and this life of mine.. is all about YOU ... i'm only a mirror to reflect your glory =)

saw the prettiest picture painted my real life today.. looking out my window.. AT RICHMOND HILL lol.. saw a dad w/ his lil toddler.. so cute!! ... and saw them walking together.. moms tend to hold on to the kids' hand.. but dads usually don't.. i stood there watching them walking away..
it's kinda like my walk w/ God... there are times when God hold my hands.. and there are times.. i just need to follow him...

after all those years of being a Christian! i have finally realize that man! life is not about me!!! i had no idea.. everytime i prayed for God to take away the pain .. question God y certain things happen to me... proud about my accomplishments that came from God in the first place.. get pissed off at ppl b/c of unfairness, get cranky for no reason
everytime i do .. that i'm stealing God's glory! exactly! i had no idea.. totally revolution to me! wow... and i tried for a day to give God the glory He deserves which is the max.. i failed that task... but i'm learning and trying .. everyday.. to keep that my goal of life.. TO GIVE GOD GLORY!
wow... =)
Lord, you know what my heart desires b4 i even speak it.. and i pray that according to your lovingkindness... it will come true someday =)

it's funny how God works really
He goes to show HIs glory.. His ever presence in the fact that i got the highest mark on a test that i'm most unsure of .. "so that His strength can be displayed thur my weakness!" oh man.. when u reply on God... He really works! =)
sometimes i hear ppl who prayed hard and long ... and miracles happen on their test .. i know what i means
and that does not mean that just b/c u pray u will get good marks.. no God doesn't work that way always rely on HIm and the result may be good or bad in our eyes but the best in HIs
take an example... my physics test .. which i did horribly on... and i know that i can do way better. and i did rely on HIm.. but i did bad.. and that resulted in me .. dropping the course w/o leaving a mark on my record.. it's sad in my eyes.. but i was able to have the courage to take on the task of starting the mandarin ccf... God works in mysterious ways for sure! =)
praise HIm always!

ever since retreat.. i have been going downhill... but when i fall.. God still pick me up every single time
it was so much easier to stay strong in faith when u are surrouded by such a strong cloud of witness day in and out for 4 days.. just amazingly easy.. like breathing.. to think about God and just meditate on His word
but then at school.. demand of work and everything crush down on me... and when i neglect quiet times w/ God.. things start to fall apart.. more prone to fall.. to listen to Satan's luring voice

God.... i've always been this girl who changes w/ the envirnment w/ the stituation.. but i want to be deeply rooted in you
like the tree.. when the wind flows the root goes deeper ... and i want to be a tree.. rooted in you
so whatever happens.. u are my rock and refuge

God there are just soo many things bothers me rite now.. hinders my relationship w/ u
and all boils down to the fact
that i want to be in control, i want the attention, it's all about me kinda selfishness
Lord.. would u plz plz.. help me.. guide me lead me... so that i can one day hear you say " Well done!" .... i can't wait =D

i don't understand how someone can be sooo rational... so... unearthly... so up there... like aliens or something
i'm tryin God... taking my eyes off myself.. i look up the sky it's still blue... and it doesn't hurt at all to smile.. smile from my heart.. hope is still here... i'm still hold onto You and standing on the rock
it's just i still don't understand y..... i hafta surpress all the feelings to follow your will... i don't see your WIll.. it's not clear at all...... i am still trusting... but y do i hafta bite my lips to trust God.. i want to trust and surrender w/ a joyful heart.. would you help me God?
i want to try =) i didn't give up at all.. i am not defeated!! i will keep on fighing b/c i know the victory is yours! God ... help me!! keep all the selfish thoughts far from me!
sigh... maybe i never really loved him unselfishly... always asking for something .. instead of giving back =(
feel like i caused so much pain in ppls' lives... gosh... sigh.. i'm trying to love ... agape... the word is so foreign to me
i can't do it by myself .... God plz help me -

a journey

we are somehow all on a journey.. i wonder if asked what is ur mission in life... what would u like to accomplish thru this life..
how many would say to find true love... prolly only the girls would say that out loud...
there is always this longing... itching.. for affection, comfort, .. and one word love .. that doesn't change when things go bad or change when we change...
i hafta say i'm still on this journey even tho i already found the best LOVER, GOD but i;m still on this journey in a sence that ... i'm still learning .. still searching... so that He can become more real to me.... as close as my breath...or rather within me..
He never changes, but i know i do