~Heaven~

I just finished Uncle Tom's Cabin . The book not only let me peer through the veil of history; it also stricken my heart strings more than once and revealed to me the significance of heaven. I know the Sunday school answer that heaven is my eternal home, but my heart yearns for the earthly things. I've often faced with the question that if there is a God who is the definition of love, how can He let sufferings continue? I've seen horrors of holocaust through pictures and study the brutality of the Middle Passage in history class. But when I read the unbearable sufferings that Tom went through, they gave me an answer that can only be described through heartbeats. Tom lost everything that he has on earth: family, dignity, and freedom (something that I take granted for I am not only free on Earth, but I am also free in Christ). There is something that man cannot take away from him, heaven. "Who can separate us from the love of Christ?" "What can mortal man do to you?" His sufferings were too great to be describe in words, and yet the author advise us to "pity him not for it is written 'Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.'" The book motivates me to keep my eyes focus on the cross, and my heart on heaven.

a fool for Jesus

"I am a fool for Christ" was painted on a big poster along the street of London according to the book God's Call. What is written on the back of poster attracted people's attention, "Whose fool are you?" Everyone is a fool for something or somebody. I'd rather be a fool for Christ, who loves me before I was born, before the beginning of time.

I am studying the book of Jonah now. The guy was given the command to preach against the wickedness of the great city of Nineveh. The city was certainly a great city, but God was greater. I have being Jonah so many times, because I focus on the problem instead of the Creator. No matter how big the mountain is in front of me, God is always greater. Things are always easier said then done. Oh boy! When I panic, I panic! Have you ever seen a chicken without head running across your kitchen? Yeah, that is me. God told me so many times through the scripture and my friends that "be still and know that I am God" (psalm 46:10). I can sense turmoil and trails waiting for me on the narrow road. It's easy to say that there is an eternal home prepared for us in heaven, but as long as I am on earth sins can take the better part of me when I am not looking. I feel like the prodigal son running away from God every time I sin. Yet, when I turn back, God always greets me with open armies. I don't deserve this kind of love, this kind of Grace. That's why I would rather be a fool for Christ who is greater than the trials ahead of me. I should be on my guard before the storm comes. When it comes, I pray I would be "sleeping" instead of "running around".

Treasure in Heaven!!!

I went cherry picking early in the morning. Afterwards, the whole family except my mom went to Casa Loma. A grand castle located in the heart of Toronto and also on the top of a hill. I wish I was the only one there, and then I could actually smell the early 20th century air at the top of the tower. I would love a library like the one in Casa Loma, but the books were mostly military and political books. =P

Letting my imagination fly! Carol Yang (no!! another name would be better, Caroline) attending a grand ball in Casa Loma. Wouldn't that be so great! Ouch! Pumped my head on the ceiling and the classical music faded. Sir Henry spent a great amount of money building the castle, but he only lived there for 9 years. Because he couldn't afford to pay the taxes, he was forced to move out to a five bedrooms apartment. Isn't it very much like the lives we live today? As a student, I work hard for my education. Then, I have to work harder still to earn money. How long can I actually live in my earthly home? Before I know it, I would be forced out from my "grand castle". Jesus told us that "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and dust do no destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt 6:19-21). It's a reminder from God that I shouldn't get too comfy on Earth. I will walk along the narrow road and enter through the narrow gate that leads to the Father. While I'm on the narrow road, I should focus on the cross instead of busying myself with building the grand castle. It's in the heart of the city all right, but not in the heart of God. It's on the top of the hill all right, but it's not shining light for God. Do you want to move from Casa Loma to a 5 bedrooms apartment? I know I wouldn't. "The life of heaven must be begun here on earth." (Anne of the Island)

Rainy Day

In past few days, the temperature had been way up there and I could just feel the heat burning from the ground. However, yesterday and today has been rainy days. You know one of those days that just make you want to cry, because the sun is not out there. Okay, maybe rainy days only have that effect on me. Although I cannot see the sun, but I know the sun is there. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently (Romans 8:24,25). God has given us all a promise, although none have seen heaven before death, we have the hope to know that an eternal home is prepared for those who love Him. I have struggled many times with the concept of heaven and eternity, but my belief never reached certainty. Doubts still wondering in my mind, as the concept of heaven is too profound for me to understand. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. "I am making everything new!" (Revelation 21:4,5) What will be the new order of things? I like to look up to the sky on sunny days, because I could get a glimpse of heaven. I like to look out the window on an airplane, because the clouds are just too beautiful to miss. But what will heaven truly be like without my finite worldly imaginations? I guess the answer to that question can only be answered when I go back to the Father. In the mean time, I have hope and faith for a comfy and eternal home with the Lord. Remember! Just because you cannot see the sun does not mean it is not there! =P

I just had a very long and deep conversation with my grandma. She came to me and talked about her worries. She worries about everything: my relatives in China, grandpa and her health, my education, my cousins, and my parents' jobs. I just repeated over and over again that worries can not change things. I am not sure if she listened, but I truly wish that she would one day come to know the Lord. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30) Just like how the song more to this lifegoes: there is more to this life, more than just living and dying. Last time, I went back to China, I could just feel worries and burdens about the future weigh hard in their hearts. Work! House! University! Heath! Food! Too many! They are blinded by what can be seen, but what is unseen is much greater and much comforting. Jesus not only use His precious blood to cross out all of our sins; He also offer to take our burdens. In Him, there is joy, hope and peace. I wanted to make everyone stop worrying and tell them that there is Someone up there who can take up your burdens. My life on Earth would only get harder as the days go on, but I just pray that my faith would increase as the days pass by. I would one day face all the problems that my grandma is facing and have faced. How would I react when I see my loved ones pass away? How would I react when I lose my job? Hard days are coming. Is my faith strong enough to sustain me? No! It's not my faith that I should put my trust in. It's my faith in the Lord. I will not be ready to face the hardships the Lord prepared for me, but God will be. Yes! I will never be ready, but He is always ready. Whatever the road of Tomorrow brings, God will hold my hands to carry me through. I am listening to Calmer of the Storm by Downhere. Jesus was sleeping during the storm, because He knows worrying cannot add a single hour to his life. The Lord that has the power to rebuke the winds and the waves also loves me. I sound so depressing today! Probably because of the rain, it got to me. Didn't Paul tell us to rejoice in the Lord always! I guess I am just too bored these days. I should be thankful of the lonely times, because only during these times I could truly see the glimpse of His face.

My first real journal entry

I have spent too much time on computer lately and my grammar retrogressed in the process, so I am going to try to sound a bit more professional (at least I am using commas and periods) =p
This morning, instead of a bible study I had a long talk with Bernice! It was about the book that she lent me and how it totally changed my perspective. I realized that I have not given God my undivided attention and I should strive to do so in the future. Today could one of those days where I could actually say I did nothing except reading and sleeping (eating too!!!).
Yesterday, the sky was so blue so beautiful that its grand beauty just possessed me before I went to work. The contrast of the whiteness of the cloud and the blueness of the sky bewildered me. Then, i saw an airplane flying across the sky. The plane was so small, so insignificant compare to the prominent blue sky. It just made me realized how small I am compare to God (Job 38,39)! I am going to play badminton with my dad now, because God whisper into my ears the importance of family, which I ignorantly forgot before. To whoever is reading this now, come down on your knees tonight and chat with this great Creator, because He not only created the Heaven and the Earth; he also created Your heart! And he wants to dwell in it too!!!

First Day

hehe My first attempt! I don't want to write anything yet! But Thanx Bernice for helping me!!!