TC is over now! wow...hmmm i guess i gotta say that i didn't prepare it well b4 hand. One thing i am happy to say is that i truly opened up to my team about myself.. and forgot about my own image for a moment (hope i can do that all the time). It's a total surprise to me the things i shared to them about: things in my childhood that i didn't even tell my church friends about. well.. i guess it's less pressure cuz they don't know me that well. i donno this was the last blog i wrote but didn't post, which led me to share about the following things:
hey God... just wanna go back into memory for a moment... do u remember when i was a lil girl? of course u do. =D i used to be so shy and scared of everything... i seemed so worthless to myself... my grandma used to bring me to her friends and say that i am the ugliest kid in the family rite in front of me. not for jokes, she's got the sharpest tongue but a good heart too... hehehe.. and i wished to wake up looking pretty the next day.. cuz no one really noticed me... and that my whole family expected a boy and even my mom wanted a boy. hey, i can't help it! (my dad wished for a girl, and i think deep inside I love my dad more, even tho we don't get along all the time)

and for 5 years in primary school.. i sat with the smartest kid in the whole class.. and everytime he did something wrong.. the teacher would blame it on me.... i used to be so scare to talk to ppl... everytime i go to my building.. i would wait for all the ppl to leave .. and walk in, so i didn't have to say hi to anyone. it was like i was invisible to everyone...

books were the only place that i could escape, the only place that i can be the main character... i don't know y everything changed so much for me now... I used to blush everytime i talked to a stranger
haha.. and then there was the hardest year when i first came to canada.. i changed from the invisible to the outcast... =) wow....i don't know y i am opening up old wounds now
I was worthless to myself, but U shine ur smile upon this caterpillar, so it can have the courage to turn into a butterfly.

hmm.. i wanted to write a poem titled Metamorphosis.. and then TC sermon had the exact same title.. i guess it's sign from U, eh God?... too much math last semester.. i just can't seem to write a poem anymore. I will working it tho.
but anywayz.. that wasn't the end of my sharing of course... i don't want ppl to pity me. I am grateful for all the lil stories in my childhood, more good than bad of course =D
b4 I wanted to ask U, what's the point of creating me God? I didn't think i am useful at all.. it mite just all be a mistake... maybe one of ur angels fell asleep or something But when i read the passage when jesus was baptized, and U said " You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Somehow, you were speaking to me b/c I am cleansed by His blood. and God.. this caterpiller is worth some thing to u i guess, cuz u were willing to die for me on the cross.
Looking back, I've came a long way to where I am now. I can't imagine going through those times w/o you God, cuz u just showered me with countless blessings.
I am shocking up with tears of joy ='D