i gotta admit the unstability of my faith, or humanity for that matter... we just run around changing all the time, while God is unchanged, and stable. Doubts come up again, God, help me with my belief.
Rather i am pretty grateful in a way for my doubts, cuz they make me reexamine my faith... what is it's foundation? Is it b/c my parents go to church, so i go too? Is it b/c i have good Christians friends who believe in you. Is my faith based on others' faith? B/c they believe, so somehow i have to believe too? What if and that is a big what if, i am like ejiah or at least that's what he thought he is the only person who believes in God, will I still say with my heart and soul that i believe. I don't think most ppl have the same problem, but I am an easily-influencd person, from hip-pop to shopping. I change as my environment change, or in one word or actually 2 words: peer pressure. I am just not satisfied with the depth of my faith, the fact that it would possibly change based on the environemnt that I will be in. What about uni? what's gonna happen there if i don't get my faith straight.
Then, with all that running around and doubting... i came to the core , or rather the right foundation of my faith. It's not peer pressure or environment or books i read .... It's a Person, the living God, the raising Christ! The Word of God will never change, everthing else might change, but He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Now I am finally stepping on solid rock there. There, with that cleared up i think i am ready to study now. Is it just me or i'm the only person who has to go through all the troubles and struggles and finally say I believe? Oh well, I got Jesus who understands, and that's more than enough, WAY MORE.