God, how much more do u want to humble me? Isn't this enough? I can just hear His whispher: enough to make you realize that you are not in control of your life, and I am.

I am looking at the marks till my eyes become blurry and strained. God gentlely directs me to refocus my eyes on the cross. Oh... and if u just look a lil closer, u can almost see Jesus smile. A smile from His heart that can make the proud bow with grace, and the wise weep with joy. With all that pain, He could still smile for the curtain is ripped and the narrow gate is open for everyone. He knows what's ahead of all this turmoil, because everything is going to be okay one day in heaven. Life is still worth living, and love is still the greatest possession. Marks will not even come close to the heavenly things on that day.
God, I did my best... and that's all that matters...I excepted too much from myself... I had too much faith in my own ability instead of Urs. From now on, help me to take my eyes off the marks and move them to the cross. If I lingered longer there, I can almost see it, Jesus... He is smiling at ME!