"if you tell me Christian commitment is a kind of thing that has happened to you once and for all like some kind of spiritual plastic surgery, I say go to, go to, you're either pulling the wool over your own eyes or trying to pull it over mine. Every morning you should wake up in your bed and ask yourself: "Can I believe it all again today?" ...till after you studied that daily record of the world's brokenness and corruption, which should always stand side by side with your Bible. Then ask yourself if you can believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ again for that particular day. If your answer's always Yes, then you probably don't know what believing means. At least five times out of ten the answer should be No because the No is as important as the Yes, maybe more so. The No is what proves you're human in case you should ever doubt it. And then if some morning the answer happens to be really Yes, it should be a Yes that's chocked with confession and tears.. and great laughter - Frederick Buechner

Maybe Buechner's interpretation of faith astounds a lot of devout Christians, but I admire the sense of honsty. Isn't that what God desires as well? He hates hypocrisy. According solely on human logics, the cross of Christ can bring salvation to the world sounds like a fair tale: too good to be true. I am not trying to be negative, b/c the harsh reality is in our face, shaking our faith. Hold on! I don't like the world shake... the sufferings in the world deepen and strengthen my faith. If u give a candy to a kid, how hard is it to coax out "thank you" from the child. But if u decide to stop giving the candy, it takes much more test of faith and love for the child to say "thank you". Similarly, our love for God is tested over and over again as long as we are breathing oxygen. And when i woke up this morning, I decided to say Yes to the Cross. Not b/c the world became a better place, or the sufferings lessened. Not b/c the angels in heaven sang a lil louder than usual or the scientists proved evolution is completely wrong. it's b/c the cross is too good not to be true. It's the intimate relationship w/ the One who created me that breaks down all my doubts over and over again. It's the human part of me that questions and doubts, and I need the grace of God to erase them over and over again. To say that I will stop doubting is impossible. But to run away from my only Hope, the only One that loves me unconditionally is just plain insanity.