Ever since i was a child, I found refuge in books. An almost mysterical adventure that add years to my age. Books open up to a fantasy world where the reality cannot even catch the magical spark. Discovering Alcott might be a lesbian was like telling a six-year-old that Santa Claus is a fraud. I put so much dreams into Little Women and weeped over Beth's death. To think that the author hated writing the book crashed my world. I guess lost of innocence is like the recurrent theme of romance, it happens in every novel and in every life.
There are times i feel like thoughts are flowing in my head that if i don't write them down, my head is gonna explore. Reading "Soul Survivor" by Yancey opened up a brand new world for me, a world of Christian literature. I had to catch my breath to follow his thoughts. The book truly did its job to provoke its reader to inform themselves.

Something to think about: All of us, Christians, we tried to live out Christ, live out His perfect vision. Yet, none succeed His perfection. Our lives almost tainted the perfect gospel. (in history,.. lol yeah we all know about those... embarrass to mention them). Yet, maybe this is what God wants, God wants to give the gospel to the weak, the poor, the ordinary to prove His power and glory. We are like the lil man behind the huge manchine in the Wizard of the Oz saying "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! Look at the light show." Although we stumble as we walk, but we are walking on the right path... we might not be successful in the process... but we are the winners at the end of the race.
I stumble and I fall almost everyday. Although i know about the "do not worry" verse inside out, yet i still come back to my old problems all the time. But it's the unquenchable spirit that God adores. Failures are more valuable than success, b/c it tests one's character. I still stumble, but w/ God's love, I will always get up after each fall to prove that I will follow HIm until the very end!
"With the help of the thorn in my foot, I spring higher than anyone with sound feet." -Kierkegaard